Sara Dawalt's Tips for Surviving

• Live every day
• Let yourself feel what you’re feeling
• Communicate as honestly as possible
• Find what makes you happy
• Stay busy

Tips for communicating –

     ·         Ask the other person how much they want to know about what is going on

·         Tell the truth – easier said than done, but with the geographical gap, all you have are words

·         Find out as quickly as you can what is available to you whether it is a cell phone, phone cards, internet connection for internet phones, or the chaplain’s phone – there are phones there, the soldier just has to be willing to find them.

Tips for surviving the holidays –

·         Make a plan, don’t wait for what ifs to happen

·         Keep traditions that are important to you, make new ones if you didn’t have any

·         Give yourself permission to enjoy the holiday despite your loved one’s absence

·         Celebrate that holiday twice – have Christmas on Christmas and again when your soldier comes home – the best of both worlds – who can go wrong celebrating a great holiday twice!

·         Do what’s right for you, it’s okay to be selfish and spend the holidays where you feel supported and safe – don’t spend the holidays with people you feel obligated to be with, spend them with people you want to be with and who support you.

Tips for reunion –

·         Communicate, communicate, communicate

·         Just let things happen, don’t have so many expectations for how wonderful it is going to be just to end up disappointed – you’ve already survived a year of disappointment and stress.

·         Take some time for yourself – you can’t throw away everything you’ve done on your own just because your soldier is home.

·         It’s okay to ask questions. Your soldier may or may not want to talk about things, but let them know they’re important by giving them the opportunity.  The same goes for the soldier, ask questions about your spouse’s experiences, just be careful not to ask so many “why did you…” types of questions because that will shut down communication and make her defensive and unappreciated.

·         Take each day one at a time. Some days will be perfect and others will be a struggle, but you finally get to experience them together.

Tips for surviving a long distance relationship –

·         Communicate honestly.

·         Live every day, don’t let life pass you by while you wait for the day you are reunited.

·         Both people in the relationship must work to keep the relationship alive, it cannot be one-sided.

·         Fill your space with pictures of your loved one – I have my “shrine to Brandon” throughout my house to help me smile through my days with him by my side even when he’s not.

·         Find someone you trust to be your support for those times that your loved one cannot help because of distance.

Great resources for support

• Operation We are Here
• Army Wife Talk Radio
• Milspouse.org
• Military OneSource